Shipulski On Design

Archive for the ‘Authentic’ Category

Even when there is significant disagreement, there is not 100% disagreement.

Can both sides agree breathing is good for our health?  I think so. And if so, there is less than 100% disagreement.  Now that we know agreement is possible, might we stand together on this small agreement platform and build on it?

Can both sides agree all people are important?  Maybe not.  But what if we break it down into smaller chunks?  Can we agree family is important?  Maybe.  Can we agree my family is important to me and your family is important to you?  I think so.  Now that we have some agreement, won’t other discussions be easier?

Can we agree we want the best for our families?  I think so. And even though we don’t agree on what’s best for our families, we still agree we want the best for them.  What if we focused on our agreement at the expense of our disagreement? Down the road, might this make it easier to talk to each other about what we want for our families?  Wouldn’t we see each other differently?

But might we agree on some things we want for our families?  Do both sides agree we want our families to be healthy? Do we agree we want them to be happy? Do we agree we want them to be well-fed? Do we want them to be warm and dry when the weather isn’t?  With all this agreement, might we be on the same side, at least in this space?

But what about our country?  Is there 100% disagreement here? I think not. Do we agree we want to be safe? Do we agree we want the people we care about to be safe? Do we agree we want good roads? Good bridges? Do we agree we want to earn a good living and provide for our families? It seems to me we agree on some important things about our country. And I think if we acknowledge our agreement, we can build on it.

I think there’s no such thing as 100% disagreement.  I think you and I agree on far more things than we realize.  When we meet, I will look for small nuggets of agreement.  And when I find one, I will acknowledge our agreement.  And I hope you will feel understood.  And I hope that helps us grow our agreement into a friendship built on mutual respect.  And I hope we can teach our friends to seek agreement and build on it.

I think this could be helpful for all of us.  Do you agree?

Image credit — Orin Zebest

If you want people to work together, give them a reason.  Tell them why it’s important to the company and their careers.

If you want people to change things, change how they interact.  Eliminate leaders from some, or all, of the meetings.  Demand they set the approach. Give them control over their destiny. Make them accountable to themselves.  Give them what they ask for.

If you want to create a community, let something bad happen.  The right people will step up and the experts will band together around the common cause.  And after they put the train back on the track, they’ll be ready and willing for a larger challenge.

If you want the team to make progress, make it easy for them to make progress.  Stop the lesser projects so they can focus.  Cancel meetings so they can focus. Give them clear guidance so they can focus on the right work.  Give them the tools, time, training, and a teacher.  Ask them how to make their work easier and listen.

If you want the team to finish projects faster, ask them to focus on effectiveness at the expense of efficiency.

If you want the organization to be more flexible, create the causes and conditions for trust-based relationships to develop.  When people work shoulder-to-shoulder on a difficult project trust is created.  And for the remainder of their careers, they will help each other.  They will help each other despite the formal organizational structure.  They will help each other despite their formal commitments.  They will help each other despite the official priorities.

If you want things to change, don’t try to change people.  Move things out of the way so they can make it happen.

Image credit — frank carman

We all have to-do lists. We add things and we check them off.  This list grows and shrinks.  We judge ourselves negatively when we check off fewer than expected and positively when we check off more than that.  But what’s the right number of completed tasks for us to feel good? How many completed tasks is enough?

If you complete one task per week that saves $5000, is that enough? Is it enough to complete fifty tasks per year?  If you create the conditions that make possible a new product line that delivers $1B over three years, but you do that only once every five years, is that enough? Is it enough to do just that one right thing over five years? What does it look like to others when you complete one exceptionally meaningful task every five years? I think it looks like most of the time you are doing very little.

Sometimes you complete small things and sometimes you don’t.  And sometimes you learn what doesn’t work and that’s the completed task.  And sometimes there are long stretches where nothing is accomplished until you create something magical. Counting tasks is no way to go through life.

But counting and measuring is all the rage.  Look at your yearly goals.  Do ten of these.  Run six of those. Complete twelve of the other.  Why do we think we can predict what we should do next year?  Even sillier, do we really believe we know how many of these, those, and the others we will be able to get done next year?  C’mon.  Really?

What if all this counting prevents us from imagining the future? And what if our unhealthy fascination with measuring blocks us from creating it?

If it’s all about the measurable, there’s no room for the Magical.

Why not make some room for the Magical?

Image credit — Philip McErlean

Put it out there.  You don’t have time to do otherwise.

Be true to yourself.  No one deserves that more than you do.

Tell the truth, even when it’s difficult for people to hear.  They’ll appreciate your honesty.

Believe the actions and not the words.  Enough said.

Learn to listen to what is not said.  That’s usually the juicy part.

Say no to good projects so you can say yes to great ones.

Say what you will do and do it.  That’s where trust comes from.

Deliver praise in public.  Better yet, deliver praise in front of their spouse.

Develop informal networks.  They are more powerful than the formal org chart.

Learn to see what’s not happening.  You’ll understand what’s truly going on.

Help people.  It’s like helping yourself twice.

Don’t start a project you’re not committed to finishing. There’s no partial credit with projects.

Do the right thing, even if it comes at your expense.

And be your best self.  Isn’t that what you do best?

Image credit — Tambako The Jaguar

What do you say when someone in power over you asks you to do something that violates your ethics?  Do you say yes because you know it’s that’s what they want and avoid conflict? Or do you say no because it’s unethical from your perspective?  Seems like a no-brainer, right?  A hard no, 100%.  And maybe with a violation of your ethics, it is a 100% no.  But practically, I can imagine a situation where the consequences would be dire if you lost a steady paycheck, for example, you would not be able to care for your family. Is a no to power also a no to your family?  Can you say no to power and yes to your family?

What do you say when someone with power over you asks you to do something you think is bad for the business? This one is a little tougher.  What does a yes say yes to?  Does it say you are willing to do something you think is bad for business? Does it say the person with power has better judgment? What does a yes say no to?  Does it say no to your judgment?  Does it say no to your self-worth?  What would you say no to?

What do you say when someone with power over you wants to drastically expand your responsibility without a change in compensation, authority, or title?  Is this an offer you cannot refuse?  A yes can be a yes to a desire to climb the ladder, to learn and grow, or to work more for the same pay.  A no can be a no the demotion masquerading as a promotion, to increased stress, to decreased mental and physical health, and to career growth at the company.  What would you say no to?

These contrived scenarios were created to help me talk through this yes-no business.  Any company that used the “power over” approach would drive away its best people.  I created them to make three points. Firstly, a yes to one thing is also a no to other things.  Secondly, it can be difficult to know what you are saying yes to and no to.  Thirdly, saying no can be difficult.

If you want to understand someone, watch what they say no to.

Image credit — Kjetil Rimolsrønning

Tell me what you want done, but don’t tell me how. You’ve got to leave something for me.

Better yet, ask me to help you with a problem and let me solve it.  I prefer asking over telling.

Better still, explain the situation and ask me what I think.  We can then discuss why I see it the way I do and we can create an approach.

Even better, ask me to assess the situation and create a proposal.

Better still, ask me to assess the situation, create a project plan, and run the project.

If you come up with a solution but no definition of the problem, I will ask you to define the problem.

If you come up with a solution and a definition of the problem, I will ask you to explain why it’s the right solution.

If you come up with a problem, a solution, and an analysis that justifies the solution, I will ask why you need me.

If you know what you want to do, don’t withhold information and make me guess.

If you know what you want to do, ask me to help and I will help you with your plan.

If you know what you want to do and want to improve your plan, ask me how to make your plan better.

If you want your plan to become our plan, bring me in from the start and ask me what I think we should do.

Image credit — x1klima

Be successful, but be yourself.

Accept people for who they are and everything else gets better.

Tell the truth, even if it causes stress.  In the short term, it is emotionally challenging but in the long term, it builds trust.

Disagree, yes.  Disappoint, yes.  Disavow, no.

Be effective, but be yourself.

If your actions cause pain, apologize. It’s that simple.

It’s easier to accept others as they are when you can do the same for yourself.

Judging yourself is the opposite of accepting yourself as you are.

When someone needs help, help them.

Be skillful, but be yourself.

If there’s an upside to judging yourself, I don’t know it.

When you’re true to yourself, people can disagree with your position but not your truthfulness.

When you help someone, it’s like helping yourself twice.

There are plenty of people who will judge you.  There’s no need to join that club.

When you stand firmly on emotional bedrock, your perspective is unassailable.

When you’re true to yourself, it’s easier for others to do the same.

Be yourself especially when it’s difficult.  Your courage will empower others.

If there’s no upside to judging yourself, why do it?

Some questions for you:

How would things be different if you stopped judging yourself? Why not give it a try tomorrow?

Wouldn’t you like to be unassailable? Why not stand on your emotional bedrock tomorrow?

Over the next week, how many people will you help?

Over the next week, how many times will you demonstrate courage?

Over the next week, how many times will you be true to yourself, even when it’s difficult?

Image credit – _Veit_

If you don’t believe in the project, the team will sense it; energy will drain from the project; and no one will want to work the project.

If you don’t believe in the project, you can’t make yourself believe in the project.

If you don’t believe in the project, you can’t fool people and make them believe you believe in the project.  Your disbelief will flow from your pores like a bad smell.

If you don’t believe in the project, your disbelief will weaken an already weak project.

If you don’t believe in the project, your disbelief can twist a good project into a bad one.

If you don’t believe in the project, it may not be the right project, but you are not the right person to run it.

If you don’t believe in the project, but the company still wants you to run it, the worst thing for the project is for you to run it; the worst thing for the company is for you to run it; and the worst thing for your career is to refuse to run it.

If from the start you think the project will fail, tell the right people why you think it will fail. If after telling them why you think the project will fail, they then ask you to run the project, you have a problem and a choice.  Your problem is you’re the wrong person to run the project.  Your choice is to run the project into the ground or take the lumps for not running it into the ground.

My choice is to give someone else an opportunity to run the project.  I think life is too short to run a project you don’t believe in.

Image credit — Bennilover

When you catch someone doing good work, do you praise them?  If not, why not?

Praise is best when it’s specific – “I think it was great when you [insert specific action here].”

If praise isn’t authentic, it’s not praise.

When you praise specific behavior, you get more of that great behavior.  Is there a downside here?

As soon as you see praise-worthy behavior, call it by name. Praise best served warm.

Praise the big stuff in a big way.

Praise is especially powerful when delivered in public.

If praise feels good when you get it, why not help someone else feel good and give it?

If you make a special phone call to deliver praise, that’s a big deal.

If you deliver praise that’s inauthentic, don’t.

Praise the small stuff in a small way.

Outsized praise doesn’t hit the mark like the real deal.

There can be too much praise, but why not take that risk?

If praise was free to give, would you give it?  Oh, wait.  Praise is free to give.  So why don’t you give it?

Praise is powerful, but only if you give it.

Image credit — Llima Orosa

If you have nothing to say, be the person that doesn’t say it.

If you’re not the right person to do it, you’re also the right person not to do it.  Why is it so difficult for to stop doing what no longer makes sense?

If it made sense to do it last time, it’s not necessarily the right thing to do this time, even if it was successful last time.  But if it was successful last time, it will be difficult to do something different this time.

If we always standardize on what we did last time, mustn’t this time always be the same as last time? And musn’t next time always be the same as this time?

If it’s new, it’s scary.  And if it’s scary, it’s bad.  And we don’t like to get in trouble for doing bad things. And that’s why it’s difficult to do new things.

Deming said to “Drive out fear.” But that’s scary.  What are the attributes of the people willing to face the fear and demonstrate that fear can be overcome?  At your company are they promoted? Do they stay? Do they leave?

Without someone overcoming their internal fear, there can be no change.

If a new thing is blocked from commercialization because it wasn’t invented here, why not reinvent it just as it is, declare ownership, and commercialize it?

If prevention is worth a pound of cure, why do people that put out forest fires get the credit while those that prevent them go unnoticed? Does that mean your career will benefit it you start small fires in private and put them out quickly for all to see?

If you always do what’s best for your career, that’s not good for your career.

When you do something that’s good for someone’s career but comes at the expense of yours, that’s good for your career.

Why not say nothing when nothing is the right thing to say?

Why not say no when no is the right thing to say?

Why not do something new even though it’s different than what was successful last time?

Why not demonstrate fearlessness and break the trail for others?

Why not be afraid and do it anyway?

Why not build on something developed by another team and give them credit?

Why not do what’s right instead of doing what’s right for your career?

Why not do something for others?  As it turns out, that’s the best thing to do for yourself.

Image credit — Steve Hammond

Credibility built – when the situation is not good, you say “the situation is not good.”  And when things went poorly you say “things went poorly.”

Trust built – when things go well you give away the credit.

Credibility built – when you provide a controversial perspective and three years later it turns out you were right.

Trust built – when you share your frustrations in confidence.

Credibility built – when you ground your argument in facts, especially inconvenient ones.

Trust built – when you say “I will keep that in confidence” and you do.

Credibility built – when you don’t know, you say “I don’t know.”

Trust built – when you do something that benefits others but comes at your own expense.

Credibility destroyed – when you tell people things are one way when they know it’s the other.

Trust destroyed – when you respond from a hardened heart.

Credibility destroyed – when you tell partial truths.

Trust destroyed – when you avoid doing the right thing.

Credibility and trust are a powerful one-two punch, but only if you build them.

Image credit — _Veit_