Shipulski On Design

Archive for July, 2024

For right frustration to emerge, you need an accurate understanding of how things are, a desire for them to be different, and a recognition you can’t remedy the situation.

The emergence of your desire for things to be different starts with knowing how things are.  And to see things as they are, you’ve got to be in the right condition – well-rested, unstressed, and sitting in the present moment. When you’re tired, stressed, or sitting in the past or future you can’t pay attention.  And when you don’t pay attention, you miss details or context and see something that isn’t.  Or, if you’re tired or stressed you can have clear eyes and a muddy interpretation. Either way, you’re off to a bad start because your desire for things to be different is wrongly informed. Sure, your misunderstanding can lead to a desire for things to be different, but your desire is founded on the wrong understanding.  If you want your frustration to be right frustration, seeing things as they are is the foundational step.  But it’s not yet a desire for things to be different.

Your desire for things to be different is a subtraction of sorts – when how things are minus how you want them to be equals something other than zero. (See Eq. 1)  Your brain-body uses that delta to create a desire for things to be different.  If how things are is equal to how you want them to be, the difference is zero (no delta) and there is no forcing function for your desire.  In that way, if you always want things to be as they are, there can be no desire for difference and frustration cannot emerge.  But frustration can emerge if you know how you want things to be and you recognize they’re not that way.

Eq. 1   Forcing Function for Desire (FFD) = (how things are) – (how you want them to be)

There is a more complete variant of the above equation where FFD is non-zero (there’s a difference between how things are and how you want them) yet frustration cannot emerge.  It’s called the “I don’t care enough” variant. (See Eq. 2) With this variant, you recognize how things are, you know how you want them to be, but you don’t care enough to be frustrated.

Eq. 2  FFD = [(how things are) – (how you want them to be)] * (Care Factor)

When you don’t care, your Care Factor (CF) = 0.  And when the non-zero delta is multiplied by a CF of zero, FFD is zero.  This means there is no forcing function for desire and frustration cannot emerge.  But this is not a good place to be.  Sure, frustration cannot emerge, but when you don’t care there is no forcing function for change.  Yes, you see things aren’t as you want, but you go along for the ride and don’t do anything about it.  I think that’s sad.  And I think that’s bad for business.  I’d rather have frustration.

Eq. 2 can be used by Human Resources as an Occom’s Razor of sorts.  If someone is frustrated, their CF is non-zero and they care.

Now the third factor required for frustration to emerge – a recognition you can’t do anything about the mismatch between how things are and how you want them. If you don’t recognize you can’t do anything to equalize how things are and how you want them, there can be no frustration.  Think – ignorance is bliss.  If you think you can do something to make how things are the same as how you want them, there is no frustration.  Because it’s important to you (CF is non-zero), you will devote energy to bringing the two sides together and there will be no frustration.  But when there’s a mismatch between how things are and how you want them, you care about making that mismatch go away, and you recognize you can’t do anything to eliminate the mismatch, frustration emerges.

What does all this say about people who display frustration? Do you want people that know how to see things as they are?  Do you want people who can imagine how things can be different?  Do you want people who understand the difference between what they can change and what they cannot? Do you want people who care enough to be frustrated?

Image credit — Atilla Kefeli

Put it out there.  You don’t have time to do otherwise.

Be true to yourself.  No one deserves that more than you do.

Tell the truth, even when it’s difficult for people to hear.  They’ll appreciate your honesty.

Believe the actions and not the words.  Enough said.

Learn to listen to what is not said.  That’s usually the juicy part.

Say no to good projects so you can say yes to great ones.

Say what you will do and do it.  That’s where trust comes from.

Deliver praise in public.  Better yet, deliver praise in front of their spouse.

Develop informal networks.  They are more powerful than the formal org chart.

Learn to see what’s not happening.  You’ll understand what’s truly going on.

Help people.  It’s like helping yourself twice.

Don’t start a project you’re not committed to finishing. There’s no partial credit with projects.

Do the right thing, even if it comes at your expense.

And be your best self.  Isn’t that what you do best?

Image credit — Tambako The Jaguar

What do you say when someone in power over you asks you to do something that violates your ethics?  Do you say yes because you know it’s that’s what they want and avoid conflict? Or do you say no because it’s unethical from your perspective?  Seems like a no-brainer, right?  A hard no, 100%.  And maybe with a violation of your ethics, it is a 100% no.  But practically, I can imagine a situation where the consequences would be dire if you lost a steady paycheck, for example, you would not be able to care for your family. Is a no to power also a no to your family?  Can you say no to power and yes to your family?

What do you say when someone with power over you asks you to do something you think is bad for the business? This one is a little tougher.  What does a yes say yes to?  Does it say you are willing to do something you think is bad for business? Does it say the person with power has better judgment? What does a yes say no to?  Does it say no to your judgment?  Does it say no to your self-worth?  What would you say no to?

What do you say when someone with power over you wants to drastically expand your responsibility without a change in compensation, authority, or title?  Is this an offer you cannot refuse?  A yes can be a yes to a desire to climb the ladder, to learn and grow, or to work more for the same pay.  A no can be a no the demotion masquerading as a promotion, to increased stress, to decreased mental and physical health, and to career growth at the company.  What would you say no to?

These contrived scenarios were created to help me talk through this yes-no business.  Any company that used the “power over” approach would drive away its best people.  I created them to make three points. Firstly, a yes to one thing is also a no to other things.  Secondly, it can be difficult to know what you are saying yes to and no to.  Thirdly, saying no can be difficult.

If you want to understand someone, watch what they say no to.

Image credit — Kjetil Rimolsrønning

Tell me what you want done, but don’t tell me how. You’ve got to leave something for me.

Better yet, ask me to help you with a problem and let me solve it.  I prefer asking over telling.

Better still, explain the situation and ask me what I think.  We can then discuss why I see it the way I do and we can create an approach.

Even better, ask me to assess the situation and create a proposal.

Better still, ask me to assess the situation, create a project plan, and run the project.

If you come up with a solution but no definition of the problem, I will ask you to define the problem.

If you come up with a solution and a definition of the problem, I will ask you to explain why it’s the right solution.

If you come up with a problem, a solution, and an analysis that justifies the solution, I will ask why you need me.

If you know what you want to do, don’t withhold information and make me guess.

If you know what you want to do, ask me to help and I will help you with your plan.

If you know what you want to do and want to improve your plan, ask me how to make your plan better.

If you want your plan to become our plan, bring me in from the start and ask me what I think we should do.

Image credit — x1klima

Demoing something for the first time is difficult, but doing it for the second time is easy.  And when you demo a new solution the first time, it (and you) will be misunderstood.

What is the value of this new thing?  This is a good question because it makes clear they don’t understand it. After all, they’ve never seen it before.  And it’s even better when they don’t know what to call it. Keep going!

Why did you do this?  This is a good question because it makes clear they see the demo as a deviation from historically significant lines of success.  And since the lines of success are long in the tooth, it’s good they see it as a violation of what worked in the olden days.  Keep going!

Whose idea was this? This is code: “This crazy thing is a waste of time and we could have applied resources to that tired old recipe we’ve been flogging for a decade now.”  It means they recognize the prototype will be received differently by the customer.  They don’t think it will be received well, but they know the customer will think it’s different.  Keep going!

Who approved this work? This is code: “I want to make this go away and I hope my boss’s boss doesn’t know about it so I can scuttle the project.”  But not to worry because the demo is so good it cannot be dismissed, ignored, or scuttled. Keep going!

Can you do another demo for my boss?  This one’s easy.  They like it and want to increase the chances they’ll be able to work on it.  That’s a nice change!

Why didn’t you do this, that, or the other? They recognized the significance, they understood the limitations, and they asked a question about how to make it better. Things are looking up!

How much did the hardware cost? They see the new customer value and want to understand if the cost is low enough to commercialize with a good profit margin.  There’s no stopping this thing!

Can we take it to the next tradeshow and show it to customers?  Success!

Image credit — Bennilover