Shipulski On Design

Archive for the ‘Trust’ Category

Happy – when you can bring your whole self to everything you do.

Lonely – when you’re with people all day but can’t be truthful with them.

Sad – when you see what could be but never will.

Angry – when someone is less than truthful.

Happy – when people you care about are treated well.

Lonely – when you’re misunderstood.

Sad – when you realize a person’s lack of truthfulness will make them lonely.

Angry – when you take things personally that aren’t personal.

Happy – when an old friend visits.

Lonely – when there’s no trust.

Sad – when you see someone break trust and you know that will bring them loneliness.

Angry – when you know someone should know better.

Happy – when someone asks you for help.

Lonely – when you know you can help but they don’t ask.

Sad – when someone is set up for failure and there’s no way to help them.

Angry – when that someone is a good friend.

Happy – when you have your health.

Happy – when you have fun with friends.

Happy – when you spend time outside.

Happy – when you walk your dogs.

Happy – when your kids and your partner love you.

Whether you’re happy, lonely, sad, or angry, this too shall pass.

Image credit – Tambako the Jaguar.

Holidays aren’t about shopping, gifts, special dinners, or travel.  Holidays are about family.

On holidays, people travel.  They don’t travel to tourist sites, national parks, or big cities for big cities’ stake.  People travel to see their families.

On holidays, people eat special foods prepared in special ways and served on special plates.  But that’s not special.  Family prepares the food, family sits at the table, and family eats the food.  What’s special is family.

Oh holidays, people tell the same stories of old shared experiences.  Everyone knows all the stories, but they’re still told every year.  Sure, the stories are misremembered, but the storyline holds. The family’s shared experiences are reexperienced and relationships deepen.  Family is special because it helps us remember and grounds us.

On holidays, people don’t always get along.  Some of the same arguments arise and some new ones are born.  Tempers flare and then cool. Because of the significant body of shared experiences and shared memories, there are more opportunities to disagree.  And because family creates a safe space, sharing strong feelings is okay.  It’s easy to see (and hear) the arguments and it isn’t easy to see what makes them possible – shared context, shared memories, and a safe space built on trust.   Without these regular arguments cannot rise to the level of family arguments.  Family arguments are a higher genus of arguments; they are noble arguments. Family arguments can realized only by families.

I hope you can spend the holidays with your family.  If not, I hope you can have a great video call with them, have a meaningful phone call with them, or even a funny text exchange.  And if you can’t, I hope you can spend time with good friends who are like family.

Image credit – Craig Sefton

Be bold – the alternative is boring.

Be the first to forgive – it’s like forgiving twice.

Be yourself – you’re the best at that.

Be afraid – and do it anyway.

Be effective – and to hell with efficiency.

Be happy – if that’s what’s inside.

Be authentic – it’s invigorating.

Be energetic – it’s contagious.

Be a listener – that’s where learning comes from.

Be on time – it says you care.

Be early if you can’t be on time – but just a little.

Be courageous – but sparingly.

Be kind – people remember.

Be truthful – that’s how trust is built.

Be a learner – by learning to listen.

Be sad – if that’s what’s inside.

Be a friend – it’s good for them and better for you.

Be nobody – it’s better for everybody, even you.

Image credit — Irene Steeves

Here’s what it looks like when the same old tricks no longer carry the day.

Efficiency of effort

• For the same energy, you get more in return.
• For the same energy, you get the same in return.
• For more energy, you get the same in return.
• For more energy, you get less in return.
• Out of energy.

Efficiency of profit

• Increased profit and increased sales.
• Lesser increased profit and unchanged sales.
• Unchanged profit and unchanged sales.
• Decreased profit and unchanged sales.
• Decreased profit and decreased sales.
• No profit and no sales.

Vibrancy

• High-energy citizens with a strong customer focus.
• Medium energy team members with some customer focus.
• Medium-energy people with little customer focus.
• Lethargic nameless humans with no customer focus.
• Nobody home.

Time Horizon

• Long-term purpose, medium-term execution, short-term adaptation.
• Medium-term execution, short-term adaptation.
• Short-term execution, shorter-term bickering.
• Shortest-term floundering.
• Out of time.

Truthfulness

• Truthful communication is delivered clearly and skillfully.
• Truthful communication is delivered less skillfully.
• Partial truths delivered.
• Partial truths delivered unskillfully.
• No truths.

Trust

• Many tight groups of informal networks share information naturally and effectively.
• Informal networks share information naturally.
• Informal networks share information.
• Informal networks go underground to share information.
• Informal networks go underground and band together to protect each other.
• Informal networks give up.

Image credit — philhearing

I used to think the work was most important.  Now I think it’s the people you work with.

Hard work is hard, but not when you share it with people you care about.

Struggle is tolerable when you’re elbow-to-elbow with people you trust.

Fear is manageable when you have faith in your crew.

You’re happy to carry an extra load when your friend needs the help.

And your friend is happy to do the same for you.

When you’ve been through the wringer a teammate, they grow into more than a teammate.

If you smile at work, it’s likely because of the people you work with.

And when you’re sad at work, it’s also likely because of to the people.

When you care about each other, things get easier, even when they’re not easy.

Stop what you’re doing and look at the people around you.

What do you see?

Who has helped you?  Who has asked for help?

Who has confided in you? To whom have you confided?

Who believes in you? In whom do you believe?

Who are you happy to see? Who are you not?

Who will you miss when they’re gone?

For the most important people, take a minute and write down your shared experiences and what they mean to you.

What would it mean to them if you shared your thoughts and feelings?

Why not take a minute and find out?

Wouldn’t work be more energizing and fun?

If you agree, why not do it? What’s in the way? What’s stopping you?

Why not push through the discomfort and take things to the next level?

Image credit — HLI-Photography

Here are the questions I ask myself when I’m asked to take on new work….

Do I know what the work is all about?

Is it well-defined?

Would it make a big difference if the work is completed successfully?

Would it make a big difference if it’s not?

Is it clear how to judge if the work is completed successfully?

Is the work important and how do I know?

Is it urgent? (The previous question is far more important to me.)

Is there more important work?

Who would benefit from the work and how do I feel about it?

Would I benefit and how do I feel about it?

Am I uniquely qualified or can others do the work?

Am I interested in the work?

Would I grow from the work?

Who would I work for?

Who would I work with?

Would my career progress?

Would I get a raise?

Would I spend more time with my family?

Would I spend more time in meetings?

Would I travel more?

What does my Trust Network think?

Would I have fun? (I think this is a powerful question.)

These aren’t the questions you should ask yourself, but I hope the list helps you develop your own.

Image credit — broombesoom

It’s not possible until you demonstrate it.

It can’t be done until you show it being done.

It won’t work until you make it work.

It must be done using the standard process until you do it a much better way.

It’s required until you violate the requirement and everything is fine.

It’s needed until you show people how to do without.

It’s no one’s responsibility until you take responsibility and do it yourself.

It’s not fun until you have fun doing it.

It’s not sanctioned until you create something magical in an unsanctioned way.

It’s a crappy assignment until you transform it into a meaningful assignment.

It’s a lonely place until you help someone do their work better.

It’s a low-trust place until you trust someone.

It’s scary until you do it anyway.

So do it anyway.

Image credit — Tambako The Jaguar

Put it out there.  You don’t have time to do otherwise.

Be true to yourself.  No one deserves that more than you do.

Tell the truth, even when it’s difficult for people to hear.  They’ll appreciate your honesty.

Believe the actions and not the words.  Enough said.

Learn to listen to what is not said.  That’s usually the juicy part.

Say no to good projects so you can say yes to great ones.

Say what you will do and do it.  That’s where trust comes from.

Deliver praise in public.  Better yet, deliver praise in front of their spouse.

Develop informal networks.  They are more powerful than the formal org chart.

Learn to see what’s not happening.  You’ll understand what’s truly going on.

Help people.  It’s like helping yourself twice.

Don’t start a project you’re not committed to finishing. There’s no partial credit with projects.

Do the right thing, even if it comes at your expense.

And be your best self.  Isn’t that what you do best?

Image credit — Tambako The Jaguar

Be successful, but be yourself.

Accept people for who they are and everything else gets better.

Tell the truth, even if it causes stress.  In the short term, it is emotionally challenging but in the long term, it builds trust.

Disagree, yes.  Disappoint, yes.  Disavow, no.

Be effective, but be yourself.

If your actions cause pain, apologize. It’s that simple.

It’s easier to accept others as they are when you can do the same for yourself.

Judging yourself is the opposite of accepting yourself as you are.

When someone needs help, help them.

Be skillful, but be yourself.

If there’s an upside to judging yourself, I don’t know it.

When you’re true to yourself, people can disagree with your position but not your truthfulness.

When you help someone, it’s like helping yourself twice.

There are plenty of people who will judge you.  There’s no need to join that club.

When you stand firmly on emotional bedrock, your perspective is unassailable.

When you’re true to yourself, it’s easier for others to do the same.

Be yourself especially when it’s difficult.  Your courage will empower others.

If there’s no upside to judging yourself, why do it?

Some questions for you:

How would things be different if you stopped judging yourself? Why not give it a try tomorrow?

Wouldn’t you like to be unassailable? Why not stand on your emotional bedrock tomorrow?

Over the next week, how many people will you help?

Over the next week, how many times will you demonstrate courage?

Over the next week, how many times will you be true to yourself, even when it’s difficult?

Image credit – _Veit_

We wait because we don’t have enough information to make a decision.

We wait until the decision makes itself because no one wants to be wrong.

We wait for permission because of the negative consequences of being wrong.

We wait to use our judgment until we have evidence our judgment is right.

We wait for support resources because they are spread over too many projects.

We wait for a decision to be made because no one is sure who makes it.

We wait to reduce risk.

We wait to reduce costs.

We wait to move at the speed of trust.

We wait because too many people must agree.

We wait because disagreement comes too slowly.

We wait for disagreement because we don’t subscribe to “clear is kind.”

We wait when decisions are unmade.

We wait because there is insufficient courage to stop the bad projects.

We wait to stop things slowly.

We use waiting as a slow no.

We wait to reallocate resources because even bad projects have momentum.

We wait when we dislike the impending outcome.

We wait for the critical path.

We wait out of fear.

Image credit — Sylvia Sassen

Credibility built – when the situation is not good, you say “the situation is not good.”  And when things went poorly you say “things went poorly.”

Trust built – when things go well you give away the credit.

Credibility built – when you provide a controversial perspective and three years later it turns out you were right.

Trust built – when you share your frustrations in confidence.

Credibility built – when you ground your argument in facts, especially inconvenient ones.

Trust built – when you say “I will keep that in confidence” and you do.

Credibility built – when you don’t know, you say “I don’t know.”

Trust built – when you do something that benefits others but comes at your own expense.

Credibility destroyed – when you tell people things are one way when they know it’s the other.

Trust destroyed – when you respond from a hardened heart.

Credibility destroyed – when you tell partial truths.

Trust destroyed – when you avoid doing the right thing.

Credibility and trust are a powerful one-two punch, but only if you build them.

Image credit — _Veit_