Shipulski On Design

What could we change to become happier? 

Happiness comes when our reality (how things really are) compares favorably with our expectations. If happiness comes from the comparison between how things are and our expectations, wouldn’t we be happier with any outcome if we change our expectations of the outcome? But how are expectations defined? What makes an expectation an expectation?  Where do our expectations come from?

If we expect to have no control over the outcome, wouldn’t we be happier with any outcome?  Aren’t we the ones who set our expectations? And hasn’t the Universe told us multiple times we don’t have control? If so, what’s in the way of giving up our expectations of control? What’s in the way of letting go?

What could we change to become more thankful?

Thankfulness comes when our reality, what we see or recognize, compares favorably with how we think things should be. If thankfulness comes from the comparison between what is and what should be, what if we changed our shoulds?  Wouldn’t we be more thankful if we lessened our shoulds and reality compared more favorably? But how are shoulds defined?  What makes a should a should? Where do our shoulds come from?

If we can help ourselves believe we don’t have control over how things should be, wouldn’t we be more thankful for how things are? And aren’t we the setters of our shoulds? And hasn’t the Universe often told us our shoulds have no control over it? If so, what’s in the way of giving up the belief that our shoulds have control over anything? What’s in the way of letting go?

Shoulds and expectations are close cousins and both influence our happiness and ability to be thankful.

At this Thanksgiving holiday, may we be aware of our shoulds and enjoy our friends and family as they are. May we be aware of our expectations and enjoy the venue, the food, the weather, and the conversations as they are. May we suspend our natural desire to control things and be happy and thankful for things as they are.

And may we love ourselves as we are.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Mike

Image credit — Bennilover

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