Shipulski On Design

When someone tells you their truth, what do you do?  Do you ask them to defend? Do you tell them what you think? Do you dismiss them? Do you listen? Do you believe them?

When someone has the courage to tell you their truth, they demonstrate they trust you.  If you want to destroy their trust, ask them to defend their truth. Sooner or later, or then and there, they’ll stop trusting you.  And like falling off a cliff, it’s almost impossible for things to be the same.

When someone confesses their truth, they demonstrate they trust you enough to share a difficult issue with you. If you want them to feel small and block them from sharing their truth in the future, tell them why their truth isn’t right. That will be the last time they speak candidly with you. Ever.

When someone reluctantly shares their truth, they demonstrate they’re willing to push through their discomfort due to the significance and their trust in you.  If you want them to get angry, explain how they see things incorrectly or tell them what they don’t understand.  Either one will cause them to move to a purely transactional relationship with you. And there’s no coming back from that.

When someone confides in you and shares their truth, you ask them to defend it, and, despite your unskillful response they share it again, believe them.  And if you don’t, you’ll damn yourself twice.

When someone shares their truth and you listen without judging, you build trust.

When someone sends you a heartfelt email describing a dilemma and your response is to set up a meeting to gain a fuller understanding, you build trust.

When someone demonstrates the courage to share a truth that they know contradicts the mission, believe them.  You’ll build trust.

When someone shares their truth, you have an opportunity to build trust or break it.  Which will you choose?

Image credit — Christian Scheja

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